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GROQ — AI Debate Engine

Powers all 18 personas. Free tier handles hundreds of debates/day. Demo mode runs without a key but real AI is much funnier.

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TWELVE DATA — Stock Ticker

Powers the STONKS ticker with live stock prices. Free tier: 8 requests/min, 800/day. Optional — crypto and FX work without it.

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CHAOSCAST — Full Disclaimer

CHAOSCAST is an AI-generated satirical debate programme. All opinions expressed are entirely fictional and belong exclusively to their respective pirates, raccoon collectives, galactic field researchers, and one very bitter ghost — not to any human being, news organisation, government body, or sentient seagull.

Headlines are sourced from real news outlets. The debates that follow are not. Characters are not real people and their arguments should not be mistaken for analysis, journalism, or anything you could cite in court.

Nothing here constitutes political, legal, financial, medical, tactical, maritime, or conquistadorial advice. If a debate has caused you to reconsider your position on a geopolitical matter, that's on you. If you have been genuinely persuaded by a raccoon LLC, please speak to someone.

Sensitive topics — including conflict, tragedy, and human harm — are handled with genuine care. Satire is not a licence for cruelty and we take that seriously, even when the pirate doesn't.

CHAOSCAST is a work of satire. Any resemblance to actual political discourse is, unfortunately, intentional. Any resemblance to actual seagulls is also intentional and they are not sorry.